s hard for me to look at. It was taken in the Spring of 2018 at St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City. I was sitting quietly by myself and just happened to look up when my wife, Stacie, snapped the picture.

Every time I see this photo, I'm reminded of how sad I was. I had wrecked my life three years earlier and lost everything. I was still staggering from the internal and external consequences of it all-the guilt, the regret, the shame. I was hopeless most days, convinced I'd never be happy again.

I still feel like that, sometimes. But, thankfully, not as often as I used to. I'm broken but breathing.

This is my story . . . this is my song.

Tullian

Against the backdrop of his own very public collapse, best-selling author Tullian Tchividjian reveals how hope can find us in our darkest places.

Carnage & Grace is an unflinchingly honest memoir that explores the hard road of recovery and the mercy that finds us over and over along the way. This is a book about desperation and deliverance, hopelessness and healing. It's a book about how God's restoring grace always flows downward and gathers in the low places of life-in the back alleys of our secrets, in the ruins of our regrets, and in the wreckage of our repeated failures.

"My friend Tullian's new book has everything I want in a memoir. It's raw and unsanitized and uncomfortable. He is willing to expose the worst parts of himself, which somehow exposes the best parts of God. This isn't so much a story of a Christian celebrity who fell from grace. It's the untold story of a broken human being who fell into grace-discovering God on the bathroom floor of his wrecked life. This is a must read!"

-Jonathan Merritt,

Author and contributing writer for The Atlantic