5I consider myself a serious spiritual mixture--a beautiful soul whose life has been lovingly, purposefully, and carefully documented on the canvas of time and a person who has always been a seeker of truth--my truth. It was easier to write my truths than to verbalize them. On my journey I hid in a wonderful haven of books and music, documenting my many thoughts, my wins, my losses, my hopes, and my dreams. Music became my constant companion. It has always been a major family theme. As a Hadley, it was understood that if you had a voice, you could and would sing as an expression of all your soul. In my own search for meaning as a child, I knew there was more to me than music, and therefore my voice was one that would not produce melodic chords. In being a seeker of my truth, I knew my inner voice would one day produce tones that spoke volumes about inner conflict, and if it were to speak at that time, the release would produce woeful sounds from my childhood and youthful stanzas of pain.

These pages began as an outpouring of perceptions and revelations of a child and her family history too troublesome to honor and too painful to forget. A beautiful black gifted family, not so different from any other gifted family that survived a troubled past, it was mine, and I was the middle child who often lived a life compromised for the peace of others.

The Songs I Could Not Sing is a collection of heart-gripping pictures and poems of love, friendships, beauty, and hope. It is a selection of words that reflect a spirit in search of acceptance and inclusion. They are thoughts that freed me from resentments and directed me in the pursuit of forgiveness. Many of us on this journey need to forgive our entire past transgressors and their transgressions. It is the healing of a heart, which begged for love, acceptance, and the coming of age. The discovery is that there was never a true separation. It's the celebration of an inner child achieving and acknowledging self-acceptance that she was a very significant part of the whole.

These pages contain thoughts, pictures, and stories of a life that has touched, shared, loved, and healed. It is an offering that embraces the belief that this act of sharing will lead others in the discovery of their true selves and to their own inner and outer rays of beauty and hope.